While coming of age, most of us do not worry about what kind of food we consume as well as how much food we consume through out the day. But what if every human did consider these factors on a daily basis? Would obesity exist?Food is not the only factor that contributes to obesity. Obesity can be caused by other contributing factors such as pregnancy, lack of sleep, and family history. For example, if the parents of a child are obese, the child is three times more likely to be obese as someone with parents that are not obese.
When categorizing obesity, combining food and lack of physical activity are two of the most common factors that contribute to this medical condition. Yes, obesity is considered a medical condition and many of you may be asking why.
People who are prone to obesity tend to accumulate excess body fat by eating foods that are concentrated with high energy and fats causing an affect (s) on their health. Also, if a person's calorie intake exceeds the amount of calories used within a day, then the excess calories eaten stores as body fat which causes weight gain. Having a body weight that is much greater than one's average weight to height ratio can cause many health risks such as heart disease, type 2 diabetes, and many other life threatening medical conditions.
Psychological disorders also play a role in obesity. Many people overeat because of stress, loneliness, depression and a desire for immediate gratification to feel better. Low self-esteem and anxiety also contribute to overeating as well. These are all reasons why people consume more calories than they need which are why most psychological disorders are directly linked to obesity. Clinical studies have proven that to combat depression or anxiety, exercising on a daily basis releases “feel good” brain chemicals that help people cope with daily stress while boosting self-confidence.
Another cause of obesity is the lack of physical activity. Many of the conveniences that we use through out the day such as elevators, cars, as well as the remote for the television, cause us to reduce the opportunities we have to be active on a daily basis. Because of the technology used today, such as video games and computers, this gives us plenty of excuses to not have the motivation to exercise. According to a study, 33.8 percent of the United States population is obese, out of those 17 percent (12.5 billion) are children aging from 2-19 years old, caused mainly by insufficient exercising. Now, we could sit here and argue about what causes obesity, but most of us are well aware that the technology that surrounds us is what causes more people to not want to exercise, aka laziness. By including physical activity in an individuals every day life, the risk of being obese are slim to none. Besides willful laziness, there must be another explanation as to why people, as they slide into obesity, fail to exercise. Right now, all we know is that the portions of food keep growing and more technological distractions are being invented. Is it ever going to stop? If the severity of obesity keeps increasing, what are we doing to prevent it? Obesity is a worldwide known medical condition and statistically keeps getting worse. The question is when and where do we begin to stop it? Can we prevent obesity? The truth is, we don’t know.
To conclude, in order to decrease the amount of people that are overweight or prone to obesity, daily exercise and maintaining a healthy diet are the first two steps to get rid of this continuous phenomenon.
Resources:
http://www.webmd.com/diet/guide/what-is-obesity
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Obesity
http://www.tree.com/health/obesity.aspx
http://shroudedindoubt.typepad.com/bodyparts/2009/01/the-causes-of-obesity-3-the-issue-of-lethargy-and-lack-of-exercise.html
http://www.livestrong.com/article/420140-obesity-caused-by-lack-of-exercise/
http://www.mbonfa.com/weight-loss/obesity-causes.htm
To conclude, in order to decrease the amount of people that are overweight or prone to obesity, daily exercise and maintaining a healthy diet are the first two steps to get rid of this continuous phenomenon.
Resources:
http://www.webmd.com/diet/guide/what-is-obesity
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Obesity
http://www.tree.com/health/obesity.aspx
http://shroudedindoubt.typepad.com/bodyparts/2009/01/the-causes-of-obesity-3-the-issue-of-lethargy-and-lack-of-exercise.html
http://www.livestrong.com/article/420140-obesity-caused-by-lack-of-exercise/
http://www.mbonfa.com/weight-loss/obesity-causes.htm
Considering the importance of audience and our potential to impact them, why did you choose to not cite the sources of the information you present as fact? The facts that you presented benefited the article because it had backed up you’re claim of the causes of obesity. But I think if you had cited all of the facts in your article then that would have made this article much stronger for the audience.
ReplyDeleteThe layout of this article is good, but I think there should be more organization of sectioning your subtopics into categories. For example, you could maybe categorize fast foods into one category and technological use into another category for causes of obesity. I think you could also add a section about ways to counter obesity along with the causes. If the audiences you are targeting are people who are trying to get healthy and want to know what could be causing their obesity, then having a way to counter obesity would be a good subtopic to add. You could go into more detail about describing what habits to break to counter the causes of obesity, instead of telling your audience to exercise daily and maintain a healthy diet.
I also think that you should stop using the word “I” because this makes you look more bias within your article. The use of “I” makes it seem more of a opinionated article. But the use of “we” makes the article stronger because it incorporates the audience in the article. I think that the use of “we” should be integrated in your article more often.
So overall this is a good at understanding the general causes of obesity, but I think that you should cite your facts, have categories in your article, and try to not use “I” in order to improve the article.
Considering your audience, why did you choose to write with an informative tone? I found it to be a little more biased than a Wikipedia page, just because you kept stating that it was your opinion that the causes of obesity are what they are. It was expository but at the same time the opinionated tone made it seem a little less credible.
ReplyDeleteI found your facts and figures quiet supplemental to your writing, by helping give an example of how much people are really consuming unknowingly. But why did you choose to not cite where you got your information? Do you think that citing your source makes it more credible?
I also found that you pose many rhetorical questions in your writing. Although this is a very good tactic to use in writing, I found it a little out of place for this assignment. This is because when someone reads a Wikipedia article, they want the facts and reasons given to them, they don’t want to have to think about it. They search Google for the answers, and when a website doesn’t have them readily available, people hit the back button.
In conclusion, I found your reading very insightful and full of knowledge everyone should have, but your style you used to elaborate on it was a little out of place for this assignment.
Your presentation is visually attractive The text was very informative and I enjoyed gaining insight on the various causes of obesity. You gave excellent details on your topic, but I would suggest splitting your text into sub topics such as overeating and Psychological disorders, which would really increase the organization and interest of the audience. Because though you give good details your text can seem like a bit of a mess if you do not create subtopics, because then the reader ingests the information step by step. Your insight to the topics is enlightening but I would suggest that you take them out, because it makes it seem less of a informative and fact based text that someone would gain knowledge from.
ReplyDeleteFor example when you ask the questions, if humans would consider these factors on a daily basis would obesity exist? And if restaurants advertise nutritional fact sheets would obesity decrease? I think it is unnecessary to point this out because in a Wikipedia article facts after facts are stated in a well-organized manner and there are no rhetorical questions and no bias and virtually no opinioned text. Your goal here is to inform the audience of a topic not to give your opinion, so if you give a little more explanations on your ideas using facts instead of opinions it would be better. Overall it is a very good informative article on obesity .
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ReplyDeleteI find your post really interesting. It gives a whole lot of information on obesity and its harmful effects. The tone you used is an informative one; as this is a Wikipedia-like text where you pass on information to one another, I think it’s a good idea to use an informative tone. While going through your blog post I came across few questions like “when and where do we begin to stop it? Can we prevent obesity?” I would like you to re-consider inputting these questions. Once again, I would like to repeat that as it’s a Wikipedia-like text people are looking for information. They want you to answer their questions rather think about the ones listen in the article. You have written a well-informed article but you can make it more appealing to the readers by adding in more sections or giving some headings to it. For example, you can make a separate heading of the causes of obesity. Also, you can throw in a heading like obesity in today’s world and then write about all the fast food and McDonalds- their significant role in the increasing rate of obesity. Plus you can also write about how the exercising these days has been replaced by the new technologies like Wii and Xbox.
ReplyDeleteOverall your post gives a really good insight into causes of obesity supported by facts and figures.
Hello, Hanna.
ReplyDeleteYou have a well-organized posting that is informative as well as explicit. I agree with a comment made above concerning bias. You conclude your post with, "To conclude, I believe that in order to decrease the amount of people that are overweight or prone to obesity, daily exercise and maintaining a healthy diet are the first two steps to get rid of this continuous phenomenon." During your revision, revisit this section so it doesn't pose an argument. Rather, provide your audience with strategies on how individuals can avoid obesity, i.e. "certain ways to avoid obesity are..."
D. Kopp
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